coachella expands to two weekends to ensure suckage for all

so… in a silly attempt to address its growing popularity via enormous ticket demand and self-aggrandizement, the coachella organization has decided to right-click copy and paste its event onto a second weekend (april 13-15, 2012 and april 20-22, 2012)… exact same lineup, same art, same venue. or so they promise.

their logic: since not enough tickets were avail for everyone who wanted to attend coachella, lets just do the same coachella twice so that everyone can attend.

the reality: its not gonna be the same event. and it will only attract more bozos. and, well… its lame.

its obvy impossible to ensure a duplicate event over two weekends. watch when next year tyler the creator cant make one of the coachellas cuz hes in trouble with the law. or when sufjan stevens wont get on stage for one of the coachellas due to a misplaced feather in his fancy winged cape. and the coachella orgs will brush these hiccups off by sending out a press release apologizing for the “incident(s)”.

but whatevs… the event which has already jumped the shark. thanks to the participation of low-talent bro-rock turds kings of leon, lamestream hip pop jerkface kanye west, and generally overpricing and underdelivering, coachella is merely just diluting their dry dusty desert brand.

of course all lame bros ‘n hoes from around the world will still help sell out the fest in record time probably by attending both and the coachella org will pat themselves on the back for having “succeeded” in solving the problem of coachella ticket demand.

demand is a good thing and coachella dont want it. do something cool like add a fourth date or sumthing. double rainbow coachella so stupes.

coachella lineup announced: the brutal rumor prediction report card

after daft punk rumors, beastie boys rumors, rolling stones rumors, cancellation rumors, and white iphone rumors, the official 2k11 coachella lineup has finally been unveiled. it seems that the organizers selected from other fests to assemble this lineup. they took some hard fest acts and mixed em with a bunch of fyf fest acts and added some lamestream hollywood bowl acts and voila… the 2k11 lineup!

last week, yours truly took the time (very little time) to spread attention towards this totally overrated fest with some totally uneducated guesses as to who might perform.

so how did i do? well… i scored a modest 9 out of 42. not too shabby considering part of the list was pure wishlist fantasy and i typed that list with my kitten eyes closed.

here are my correct picks (in no particular order):

best coast
pj harvey
sleigh bells
the arcade fire
kings of leon
off!
tame impala
yelle
kanye west

enough about me, what do u think of this years lineup? is it amazing or is it poo? who are you most suprised/excited to see on the list?

go examine the full lineup over at the official coachella site. make sure to have a magnifying glass handy so you can see whos playing earlier in the days… http://www.coachella.com

brutal rumor: coachella 2k11 lineup leaked, not leaked #rumorwave

as we near the official announcement, the annual coachella lineup guessing game is upon us and the internet-o-sphere has already taken to predicting the lineup based on bubbling rumors, tour schedules, album releases, iphone coming to verizon, myspace laying off employees, and statistics from past coachellas.

so as a member of the elite music blogging community, i too will construct a coachella 2k11 lineup consisting of totally uneducated guesses, wishlist rubbish, and past coachella participation factors. i have made sure to include some shitty acts since every year there are tons of barf worthy artists on the bill.

here is the brutal hipster coachella 2k11 lineup in no particular order…

radiohead
best coast
velvet revolver
pj harvey
sleigh bells
the arcade fire
daft punk
kings of leon
lykke li
kanye west
off!
major lazer
beach house
no joy
company flow *reunion
sufjan stevens
monotonix
la sera
girl talk
dimmu borgir
wavves
cults
valient thorr
justice
busy p
dj medhi
sunn o)))
salem
lower dens
toro y moi
gold panda
intronaut
harrys gym
woah hunx *reunion
tame impala
tim and eric
yelle
girls
das racist
baths
aloe blacc
ty segall

what do you think? best lineup ever? are these bands on your wish list? are you gonna ditch at&t for the verizon iphone?

dear weezer: eat this ten mil bill and choke and die and take kings of leon with you kthxbai

some james burns has pitched once-tolerable band weezer $10 million to break up, assuming fans of said bands commit to ponying up megabucks. mister burns cites false promises of besting their untouchable blue and “pinkerton” albums, as well as their abundance of post-“pinkerton” diarrhea, while casually mentioning he has “never been a fan”.

so basically, mister burns hates weezer and, like mister “buy this track” project, believes that, with the help of viral muscle, he can stuff money down the throats of lepers to cure what plagues us all.

cool, dude. we know weezer likes to sell out their souls to the muppets, snuggies, hurley brand clothing, pacsun, and the steve aokis so they would probably kill themselves for a cool ten mil. but u said urself that u h8 weezer so basically you are duping jaded fans to put money into your own selfish cause which will only spawn an awful rivers cuomo solo project.

brutal hipster fully supports the downfall of weezer but much prefers this happen on its own accord sans silly measures of bribery. and if bribery were successful, id much rather see it put towards the eradication of the kings of leon cuz brutal hipster has brutal h8tred towards the KoLs.

if you believe in this campaign, you can insert your money here: http://www.thepoint.com/campaigns/campaign-0-1079

(this post was written while not listening to weezer.)