coachella expands to two weekends to ensure suckage for all

so… in a silly attempt to address its growing popularity via enormous ticket demand and self-aggrandizement, the coachella organization has decided to right-click copy and paste its event onto a second weekend (april 13-15, 2012 and april 20-22, 2012)… exact same lineup, same art, same venue. or so they promise.

their logic: since not enough tickets were avail for everyone who wanted to attend coachella, lets just do the same coachella twice so that everyone can attend.

the reality: its not gonna be the same event. and it will only attract more bozos. and, well… its lame.

its obvy impossible to ensure a duplicate event over two weekends. watch when next year tyler the creator cant make one of the coachellas cuz hes in trouble with the law. or when sufjan stevens wont get on stage for one of the coachellas due to a misplaced feather in his fancy winged cape. and the coachella orgs will brush these hiccups off by sending out a press release apologizing for the “incident(s)”.

but whatevs… the event which has already jumped the shark. thanks to the participation of low-talent bro-rock turds kings of leon, lamestream hip pop jerkface kanye west, and generally overpricing and underdelivering, coachella is merely just diluting their dry dusty desert brand.

of course all lame bros ‘n hoes from around the world will still help sell out the fest in record time probably by attending both and the coachella org will pat themselves on the back for having “succeeded” in solving the problem of coachella ticket demand.

demand is a good thing and coachella dont want it. do something cool like add a fourth date or sumthing. double rainbow coachella so stupes.

brutal treat: each coachella ticket holder to get free high tech gps device

if u were lucky enough to snag one of them $300 coachella tickets (err wristbands), then u will be delighted to hear that each ticketwristbandthingy will include a high tech gps tracking device at no additional cost! plus each tracking device may or may not be compatible with your fancy verizon iphone 4.

not only will you have access to thee hottest festival in north america featuring some of thee hottest bands and up-and-coming buzzworthy artists, this sweet lil freebie will allow u to report your location to your fest-going buddies in REAL TIME!! so whether u are chillin in the beer garden or doing the dougie in the [sponsor] tent or trading drugs for merch at one of the merch booths or sexing it up if ur coleman tent, u will know where ur buddies are at all times.

we are really fortunate to be in these modern times where such techie toys allow us to experience music and community in ways we never could before. pretty sweet i say.

are u excited for coachella?!???!!

coachella lineup announced: the brutal rumor prediction report card

after daft punk rumors, beastie boys rumors, rolling stones rumors, cancellation rumors, and white iphone rumors, the official 2k11 coachella lineup has finally been unveiled. it seems that the organizers selected from other fests to assemble this lineup. they took some hard fest acts and mixed em with a bunch of fyf fest acts and added some lamestream hollywood bowl acts and voila… the 2k11 lineup!

last week, yours truly took the time (very little time) to spread attention towards this totally overrated fest with some totally uneducated guesses as to who might perform.

so how did i do? well… i scored a modest 9 out of 42. not too shabby considering part of the list was pure wishlist fantasy and i typed that list with my kitten eyes closed.

here are my correct picks (in no particular order):

best coast
pj harvey
sleigh bells
the arcade fire
kings of leon
off!
tame impala
yelle
kanye west

enough about me, what do u think of this years lineup? is it amazing or is it poo? who are you most suprised/excited to see on the list?

go examine the full lineup over at the official coachella site. make sure to have a magnifying glass handy so you can see whos playing earlier in the days… http://www.coachella.com