coachella expands to two weekends to ensure suckage for all

so… in a silly attempt to address its growing popularity via enormous ticket demand and self-aggrandizement, the coachella organization has decided to right-click copy and paste its event onto a second weekend (april 13-15, 2012 and april 20-22, 2012)… exact same lineup, same art, same venue. or so they promise.

their logic: since not enough tickets were avail for everyone who wanted to attend coachella, lets just do the same coachella twice so that everyone can attend.

the reality: its not gonna be the same event. and it will only attract more bozos. and, well… its lame.

its obvy impossible to ensure a duplicate event over two weekends. watch when next year tyler the creator cant make one of the coachellas cuz hes in trouble with the law. or when sufjan stevens wont get on stage for one of the coachellas due to a misplaced feather in his fancy winged cape. and the coachella orgs will brush these hiccups off by sending out a press release apologizing for the “incident(s)”.

but whatevs… the event which has already jumped the shark. thanks to the participation of low-talent bro-rock turds kings of leon, lamestream hip pop jerkface kanye west, and generally overpricing and underdelivering, coachella is merely just diluting their dry dusty desert brand.

of course all lame bros ‘n hoes from around the world will still help sell out the fest in record time probably by attending both and the coachella org will pat themselves on the back for having “succeeded” in solving the problem of coachella ticket demand.

demand is a good thing and coachella dont want it. do something cool like add a fourth date or sumthing. double rainbow coachella so stupes.

cold showers channel black metal vibes, play sissy music

los angeles area hipsters cold showers have revealed themselves as closet black metal fans in new video “i dont mind” where they fuck around in corpsepaint, inverted crosses, fake blood, and play hot potato with a pig head a la mayhem.

ironically, their music is pretty un-grim, sissy, new wave shit. something tells me euroymous would have non of this…

new bass drum of death video glorifies drinking, smoking, burning shit, having fun, and hi-def videography

garage rock homeboys bass drum of death threw a party and turned it into their latest music video for “get found” off their “gb city” album. the video depicts todays youth culture doing kid stuff like drinking, smoking, burning shit, and having fun in slo mo and regular mo at the highest definition video fidelity.

peep the vid below. rock out with your creepy mask out…

cults brag about how giving away their music helped them blow up, get signed

vice mag‘s noisey venture has captured internet/blog sensations, cults, during a recent stop in san fran.

in the video, the band brags about how their “free” music model really helped propel them into the blogosphere and subsequently onto a major label signing despite not “understanding” the internet. good for them i guess.

check out the interview and catch performances of new songs “abducted,” “never heal myself,” and “you know what i mean” over at noisey: www.noisey.com/#!/view/meet-cults

record store day flops, many leftovers still available

it seems that the much ballyhooed record store day turned out to be a huge bust. many record stores have been reporting massive amounts of leftover stock.

heres a sampling of tweets revealing the bleak outcome of record store day…

@stinkweeds: “We still have a ton of Record Store Day titles left. Jimmy Eat World, Television, Ray Lamontagne, Damien Jurado,… http://fb.me/Y2GPhDbj

@lovemusicglasgo: “We still have a lot of Record Store Day titles left over if you want to have a browse. There are 2 dedicated racks in the back of the shop.”

@origamivinyl: “Record Store Day Leftovers! Check out what we have left… http://bit.ly/dEpwkC

@notablemusicco: “@jillsobule quite a few Record Store Day items left at Silver platters DT Seattle, including 5 of these: http://twitpic.com/4mm3gu

this is clearly a sign that artists who participated did not release anything worthy. and that digital music is clearly the future. and that the music industry still aint got a clue. and that there probably wont be anymore record store days…

†‡† officially changes name to ritualz, releases free “ghetto ass witch” remix album

the witch house artist formerly known as †‡† will henceforth be known as ritualz.

the twitter-happy artist fired off a tweet last night declaring that “ritualz” is the band name and †‡† is the logo. then he proceeded to poop on his fans saying “get with the times” (re: band name vs logo confusion).

whatever. changing the name was probably a good idea considering most keyboards and iphones lack the † and ‡ keys.

this well-timed public backtracking coincides with the release of a new remix album that featuring seven interpretations of the title track from the recently released album “ghetto ass witch” album.

download it free or throw ritualz a few bones via the “name your price” plan…

mom ‘n pop record stores invent “record store day” to encourage music fans to live in the past

sometime in 2007, a psuedo holiday was invented called “record store day”. it was a delayed knee jerk reaction to the evolution away from physical media and general truth denial that people no longer buy stuff from music stores.

so this fake unholiday has actually gained traction over the years. with artists gathering leftover tracks, reissues, remixes, and other such throwaway low-effort goodies which probably were never intended to be released to be “exclusive” and “limited edition” record store day items, theres now a seemingly infinite new crop of musics for fans to get their hands and hard drives on. still a pretty cool deal yo.

but this idea of buying music is both costly and takes up actual space. i thought we had moved on from that? are we gonna let old ppl continue to uphold inefficient and outdated ways of consuming musics just for the sake of a nostalgia us kids have never experienced?

the “limited edition” concept never made much sense. yes, it creates the perception of value and ownership desirability. but if an artist poured his heart, soul, and livelihood into his art, why would he want only a select few to be able to enjoy it? #scratcheshead

if record store day continues to grow, maybe online retails will instate their own “legal digital music download day” holiday.

this year record store day falls on april 16, 2011. what are you buying on record store day? or are u gonna stay modern and wait for these treats to end up on the rapidshares and megauploads??

visit the official record store day site to see which brick and mortar shops are participating and for a full list of the RSD goodies: http://www.recordstoreday.com

death grips face rip: zach hill copies jon theodore, teams up with an angry rapper dude(s)

lil drummer boi zach hill has been caught flirting with angry rapper bro(s) in a new avantgarde project called death grips. much like jon theodore who teamed up with another zack (de la rocha) for drum shit and shouty rapping in one day as a lion.

internet searches reveal little info on death grips. but based on mp3s and vidz provided, they make one day as a lion smell like one day as a timid puppy. freshest rap music since nephlim modulation systems and company flow.

and album and mixtape are forthcoming. good news since rap music has been soft like gucci manes ice cream tattoo.

peep the “full moon (death classic)” wrecker below and download mp3s over at http://thirdworlds.net/

brutal treat: each coachella ticket holder to get free high tech gps device

if u were lucky enough to snag one of them $300 coachella tickets (err wristbands), then u will be delighted to hear that each ticketwristbandthingy will include a high tech gps tracking device at no additional cost! plus each tracking device may or may not be compatible with your fancy verizon iphone 4.

not only will you have access to thee hottest festival in north america featuring some of thee hottest bands and up-and-coming buzzworthy artists, this sweet lil freebie will allow u to report your location to your fest-going buddies in REAL TIME!! so whether u are chillin in the beer garden or doing the dougie in the [sponsor] tent or trading drugs for merch at one of the merch booths or sexing it up if ur coleman tent, u will know where ur buddies are at all times.

we are really fortunate to be in these modern times where such techie toys allow us to experience music and community in ways we never could before. pretty sweet i say.

are u excited for coachella?!???!!