January 2013

• 07: pitchfork launches digital platform to get u to buy physical media (0)

July 2012

• 30: snoop dogg rebrands as snoop lion after finally discovering felines are greater than canines (0)

May 2012

• 17: van halen comes down with a case of death grips, postpones half of tour (0)
• 08: metallica wow audience in prague, play black album backwards (0)

April 2012

• 18: keep it real: holographic hullabaloo #coachella (0)

March 2012

• 26: sigur ros announce new album “lorem ipsum” (0)
• 07: watch zola jesus’ nike commercial (0)
• 05: one uninteresting band to cover another uninteresting band for record store day release (0)

February 2012

• 22: computer glitch revives dormant blog, spams twitter with old posts #glitchhop (1)

October 2011

• 18: johnny marr teams up w/ best coast to write a song that sounds like best coast (0)

September 2011

• 21: r.e.m. follow netflix’s lead, split into threes (0)
• 04: a fest is a fest is a fest is a fest #fyf2011 (0)

August 2011

• 25: sunset junction bucks festival trend, stirs media attention before the event instead of after (0)
• 23: the weeknd does thursday (0)
• 18: google launches music blog, renders brutal hipster irrelevant (0)
• 04: henry rollins leverages the power of the internet to blog about how the internet cheapens the very information it broadcasts (0)

July 2011

• 29: chino moreno steals ritualz logo; ritualz is not pleased (1)
• 28: ravers show up to hollywood rave movie premier, have stand-off instead of dance-off (0)

June 2011

• 23: kinda brutal: jay maisel eats andy baio’s soul (1)
• 05: red hot chili peppers announce new album, no one cares (0)

May 2011

• 31: coachella expands to two weekends to ensure suckage for all (0)
• 25: cold showers channel black metal vibes, play sissy music (0)
• 17: new bass drum of death video glorifies drinking, smoking, burning shit, having fun, and hi-def videography (0)

April 2011

• 29: cults brag about how giving away their music helped them blow up, get signed (1)
• 20: neon indian teases new album with a non-neon video (0)
• 18: record store day flops, many leftovers still available (0)
• 18: †‡† officially changes name to ritualz, releases free “ghetto ass witch” remix album (0)
• 08: mom ‘n pop record stores invent “record store day” to encourage music fans to live in the past (0)

March 2011

• 31: death grips face rip: zach hill copies jon theodore, teams up with an angry rapper dude(s) (0)
• 23: brutal treat: each coachella ticket holder to get free high tech gps device (0)
• 22: snakehole turn a tumblr into slithery music video for “reincarnate” (0)
• 21: eddie vedder returns from the dead only to seal his own coffin with new album of ukulele musics (2)
• 21: the weeknd release free mixtape, sample beach house, prob some other shit too (2)
• 20: busy p spits fighting words at disney for pooping on daft punk tron remix album, offers up free hand-picked remix by goose (0)
• 18: guards channel their inner tesla, perform acoustic set at mtv (0)
• 10: fan sets tamaryn song “choir of winter” to screen saver, calls it a video (1)
• 03: charlie sheen spurns offer to grace new †‡† ep, lindsay lohan hired (0)
• 02: charlie sheen stars in sierra leone “mount eden” ephixa remix video #dubstep (1)

February 2011

• 24: dum dum girls say bye bye to lof-fi, get u high-fi (0)
• 24: name of upcoming green day cd/dvd, “awesome as fuck”, is lame as fuck (1)
• 23: gruff rhys releases new music video from “hotel shampoo” that has nothing to do with hotel shampoo (0)
• 22: cults teams up with hollywood for cheesy tween-worthy video for “go outside” (0)
• 21: robotanists attempt to ride coattails of radiohead, record and release “the king of limbs” cover album 24hrs after release (0)
• 18: thom yorke loses his religion in new radiohead video “lotus flower” (0)
• 18: former smashing pumpkins album cover model promoted to bassist (0)
• 16: watch amanda brown watch a laserdisc in new la vampires video (0)
• 16: watch pj harvey perform a full 17-song set while wearing a ridiculous hat (1)
• 15: guards butchers metallica, vampire weekend, m.i.a. covers, gives them away for free (0)
• 14: the flaming lips releases 12 youtube videos meant to be played simultaneously so that no one will ever be able to actually listen to the song as intended (0)
• 14: bethany cosentino lends vocals on a meaningful song that has nothing to do with sunburn, cat hair, phat blunts (0)
• 14: radiohead didnt get memo that newspapers are dead; proceeds to release “worlds first newspaper album” (1)
• 11: greedy hipster who attempted to take advantage of arcade fire fans gets pwnd (0)
• 10: ford & lopatin: games change name (0)
• 10: le corps mince de françoise releases video for song alluding to future chart topping domination (0)
• 09: rock ‘n roll is dead: activision pulls plug on guitar hero (0)
• 09: planningtorock post new song/video “doorway”, still just planning to rock (0)
• 04: cold cave tease new material, bore u with backstory (0)
• 03: beach house play new song (maybe) at laneway festival (0)
• 02: jack white doesnt see his shadow, pulls plug on the white stripes (0)
• 01: gucci mane gives away new mixtape for free cuz he way cray (0)
• 01: bobb bruno wears obscure black metal band t-shirt on letterman; letterman doesnt care (1)

January 2011

• 27: cinespace succumbs to touch of death (0)
• 26: memory tapes releases video from yesterday for song about today (0)
• 25: home of FYF founder goes up in flames, four loko not found at scene (1)
• 25: zola jesus releases mp3s with hidden messages (0)
• 21: †‡† skirts cassette tape fad, offers up CDR for downloadz (0)
• 21: lykke li releases new video, forgets to title it (0)
• 19: coachella lineup announced: the brutal rumor prediction report card (0)
• 18: best coast’s bobb bruno caught wearing a non-black shirt (0)
• 14: lower dens stars in first episode of new hipster cooking show (0)
• 12: yelle throws dance party for lions, giraffes, zebras, more (0)
• 11: brutal rumor: coachella 2k11 lineup leaked, not leaked #rumorwave (0)
• 10: lykke leekx nuther new song (0)
• 10: la sera releases new mp3, posts accompanying video (0)
• 05: la sera show off poor personal chemistry, play new song, display great musical chemistry (0)
• 03: brutal faves: top blog posts of 2010 (0)

December 2010

• 29: jingle bells, batman smells, lower dens lays an egg (0)
• 27: “LOL”: klaxons release leftover tunes from sessions recorded during album no one is buying (0)
• 26: brutal leak: beach house live @ roskilde fest 2k10 (0)
• 26: gorillaz releases new album recorded on ipad; band website only compatible with internet explorer 9 (0)
• 21: brutal faves: albums of 2010 (0)
• 21: conan o’brien throws ugly sweater party, invites beach house (0)
• 16: beach house gives not a rats ass for winter sun, gives fans new winter song (0)
• 16: jesu takes page out of coldplay, scott weiland, mariah carey; releases christmas jingle (0)
• 14: brutal faves: mp3s of 2010 (0)
• 08: shitty blogger puts food truck in his 2010 top albums list (0)
• 07: girl talk culture mash: pittsburgh name 12/7/2010 “greg gillis day” (0)
• 07: klaxons album sales hurting, release deluxe edition to bait fans to re-buy latest album (0)
• 07: the go! team and best coast team up on song well past sell-by date (0)
• 06: neon indian release music video that looks like how their music sounds (0)
• 01: pj harvey shakes ur england then writes on ur forehead (0)

November 2010

• 30: ok… omar rodriguez lopez finally releases something that doesnt suck (0)
• 30: sony music admits they fucked up, apologizes to bradford cox (0)
• 30: omar rodriguez lopez reaches into his databank, releases new album (0)
• 26: breaking news: sony attacks bradford cox, removes his atlas sound databanks from mediafire claiming “unauthorized reproduction and distribution” (0)
• 25: bradford cox doesnt give thanks but gives u “bedroom databank vol. 4” (0)
• 24: bradford cox saturates his own market, releases third free atlas sound album in as many days (0)
• 23: active child is in ur church at night and probably during the day too (0)
• 23: bradford cox channels his inner omar rodriguez lopez, releases second atlas sound album in two days (0)
• 22: bradford cox releases free collection of freshly recorded home demos (0)
• 19: creative visionary wayne coyne shoots official ariel pink video on his black iphone 4, results are meh (0)
• 18: twin sister make music video to promote music theyre giving away for free (0)
• 16: no joy strip down (0)
• 15: cults gives away music, scores major label deal (1)
• 15: girl talk releases new album, crashes internet (0)
• 14: whats not to like about girls? (0)
• 11: amanda brown invites friend over, films new la vampires video (0)
• 11: lapd war against hipsters update: echo curio surrenders, hipster infighting ensues (0)
• 10: lil jon one-ups weezer, collaborates with sesame street (0)
• 09: gruff rhys creates sculpture out of hotel shampoo accumulated over 15 years of touring (0)
• 03: seattle radio dj praises robert smith karaoke “smash”, disses crystal castles (0)
• 01: mad decent tricks ur treat w/ free post-halloween mixtape (0)

October 2010

• 29: cassius produce new iphone commercial, release iOS app (0)
• 29: la sera post video of halloween celebration (0)
• 28: lady lykke li leaks latest lyrical limerick (0)
• 27: robert smith sings karaoke to crystal castles, recording surfaces (1)
• 23: file under dunzo: woah hunx (0)
• 22: ice melts; jónsi cancels in-stores due to stage fright (0)
• 21: song of the day: harrys gym “old man” (0)
• 21: sometimes U2 cant make it on their own; hire producers to write “club” bangers (0)
• 20: is the music industry in danger of running out of band names? (1)
• 18: gruff rhys returns from space, goes swimming (0)
• 18: bobb bruno keeps it classy, wears tuxedo to formal event (0)
• 18: thom yorke’s new song is a charity to all (0)
• 17: pocahaunted’s amanda brown copies bethany cosentino; starts new band (0)
• 15: omar rodriguez lopez volta thinks is cool to release an album every month (0)
• 14: hunx no more? (0)
• 14: twin sister change tune; now want u to pay for music (0)
• 14: holy fuck get it #cats (0)
• 12: band stops traffic on busy los angeles freeway to perform its shitty music (0)
• 11: weezer collects raditude dog diarrhea, packages it as rarities album (1)
• 10: que sera, la sera (0)
• 09: guy doesnt know what a hipster is; asks spiderman if he knows (0)
• 07: scott weiland injects himself into the xmas spirit (0)
• 06: sufjan’s asthmatic confusion (0)
• 06: twin sister all the way across the sky omg (0)
• 06: dear weezer: eat this ten mil bill and choke and die and take kings of leon with you kthxbai (1)
• 05: music blogger launches brilliant plan to help bands make money (0)
• 04: michael jackson, tiger woods, michael jordan, others star in new major lazer video (0)
• 03: LAPD hates hipsters, shuts down los angeles venue you’ve never heard of (0)
• 03: trashcan sinatras fanboy buys house just so band can play “intimate” show for him and his rich friends (3)
• 03: girl has sex with guitar in music video; song not half bad #nsfw (1)

September 2010

• 29: diplo and lunice poop on deerhunter’s “helicopter” via remix treatment (0)
• 29: twin shadow all the way across the sky omg (0)
• 26: dj shadow teases new material via free d/l yet insists on limited free d/l window and complicated d/l process (0)
• 26: sufjan’s second strike (1)
• 23: song of the day/night: deerhunter “helicopter” (0)
• 21: sufjan stevens/asthmatic kitty blatantly ask fans to spend more money (0)
• 19: darker my love forgets to activate distortion pedal; records whole album sans fuzz (0)
• 17: i am a cat. therefore, i like cat music. (0)
• 16: das not mini mixtape (0)
• 15: yelle drops new supermicroscopicnanomix (1)
• 14: omar rodriguez lopez releases another difficult-to-pronounce album (0)
• 13: there is no man in mountain man (0)
• 06: brutal milestones: kim thayil, carl crack (0)
• 06: d/l: beach house live @ p4k 2k10 (0)
• 05: a fest is a fest is a fest is a fest #fyf2010 (1)
• 03: breaking news: woah hunks changes name back to woah hunx (0)
• 02: breaking news: woah hunx changes name; now known as woah hunks (0)
• 02: zola jeezy cometh (0)
• 01: re-fresh: dub kweli (0)

August 2010

• 31: song of the day: lower dens “tea lights” (0)
• 31: u know u just cant get enough of #oldnew (0)
• 30: the arcade firefox (0)
• 30: glamtera: glam era pantera #newold (0)
• 28: boris heavy rock hits los angeles (0)
• 27: pon de black mountain (0)
• 26: odd: pronunciation of “adz” is “odds” (0)
• 25: surf the sufjan-wave (0)
• 25: new-ish beach house is dreamweavy (0)