pitchfork launches digital platform to get u to buy physical media

buy buy buy!nice try pitchfork. i see thru ur pitch and fork. u tell us pitchfork advance is an evolution of “album art” but what does that even mean? first there was the pdf, then there was the itunes lp, u could even say album microsites are a form of “evolved” album art and liner notes and *gasp* a stream of the album. this is nothing new and album art isnt anything that can evolve beyond what it is which is a graphic that represents the album.

clearly what we have here in pitchfork advance is a digital promo tool to push sales of physical media. the “buy album” link is the only thing spelled out in plain english on that page (save for the artist name and advance logo). even calling out pitchfork advance targeting “pre-releases” is classic album promo tactics. the only intention is to boost hype before an album release date to generate sales.

so we get it.. youre masking just another way to sell physical media under the whole “were doing this new thing that never existed before!” next!

snoop dogg rebrands as snoop lion after finally discovering felines are greater than canines

the artist formerly known as snoop dogg has shed his gangsta ways and rebranded himself as a rastafarian dubbed snoop lion.

despite what snoop himself has said–that he is a grown adult with kids and that peace is good and violence is bad–or what the public may speculate–that hes just trying to sell records and drum up p.r.–the truth is is that snoop has discovered what everyone already knows… that cats are cooler than dogs.

some may argue that branding is bullshit, but what really matters is that snoop lion has come to his senses. together we purr–cats rule, dogs drool!

peep his first track under his cat-ified moniker, “la la la”…

van halen comes down with a case of death grips, postpones half of tour

half of the upcoming van halen “reunion” tour has been postponed after unnamed members of the rock group came down with a case of death grips.

heres there official statement in video form…

updated tour dates:

05/17 – Winnipeg, MB @ MTS Centre
05/19 – St. Paul, MN @ Xcel Energy Center
05/22 – Kansas City, MO @ Sprint Center
05/24 – Denver, CO @ Pepsi Center
05/27 – Las Vegas, NV @ MGM Grand Garden Arena
06/01 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center
06/03 – Oakland, CA @ Oracle Arena
06/05 – San Jose, CA @ HP Pavilion
06/09 – Los Angeles, CA @ Staples Center
06/12 – Anaheim, CA @ Honda Center
06/14 – San Diego, CA @ Viejas Arena
06/16 – Phoenix, AZ @ US Airways Center
06/20 – Dallas, TX @ American Airways Center
06/22 – San Antonio, TX @ AT&T Center
06/24 – Houston, TX @ Toyota Center
06/26 – New Orleans, LA @ New Orleans Arena
07/07 – Uncasville, CT @ Mohegan Sun Arena
07/09 – Hampton, VA @ Hampton Coliseum
07/11 – Philadelphia, PA @ Wells Fargo Center
07/13 – E. Rutherford, NJ @ IZod Center
07/15 – Baltimore, MD @ 1st Mariner Arena
07/17 – Rochester, NY @ Blues Cross Arena
07/19 – Detroit, MI @ Joe Louis Arena
07/21 – London, ON @ John Labatt Centre
07/24 – Toledo, OH @ Huntington Center
07/26 – Grand Rapids, MI @ Van Andel Arena
07/28 – Cleveland, OH @ Quicken Loans Arena
07/31 – Fort Wayne, IN @ Allen County War Memorial Coliseum
08/02 – Columbus, OH @ Schottenstein Center
08/04 – Knoxville, TN @ Thompson Boilng Arena
08/06 – Memphis, TN @ FedEx Forum
08/08 – Birmingham, AL @ BJCC Arena
08/10 – Greenville, BI-LO Center
08/12 – Cincinnati, OH @ US Bank Arena

metallica wow audience in prague, play black album backwards

credit: metallica.com

metallica fans in the czech republic didnt know what hit them when the band unleashed a first-of-its-kind performance playing the entire black album BACKWARDS.

this is big news people. most bands think its a special deal to play an album from beginning to end. but metallica, being the always-foward-thinking band they are, played their most commercially successful album in its entirety from the last song to the first song!!

bravo metallica. there is a reason you guys are on top.

keep it real: holographic hullabaloo #coachella

tupac’s holographic appearance along side snoop dogg and dr. dre at coachella (wknd #1) stirred up a boiling hip hop hot pot of excitement and nostalgia against dissent towards the digital fabrication of a once-living “thing”. with the “magic” of technology, the masses were wowed yet fooled by a technological illusion, a digital puppet.

we now (always had) have the powers to deliver something while saying its something else. but what does it mean when we can create any “thing” and say it is whatever we want it to be?

i mean… what then is the difference between a holographic tupac and a elvis impersonator? or a metallica cover band? or for that matter, a fedex delivery guy who claims he used to start for the yankees? what if i told you this blog was actually written by a real human being?

though the reaction that followed was a seemingly divide between gangsta tweens and jokesters and dissenters, rumors spread that they would be taking this holographic handjob on the road. which would definitely have to be filed under the biggest scam in all of the history of the universe. talk about devaluing a legacy for the sake of capitalistic greed and inappropriate use of technological trickery and mass manipulation madness.

keep it real.

sigur ros announce new album “lorem ipsum”

sigur ros have revealed details regarding their forthcoming new album “lorem ipsum”. read the official announcement below in their native hopelandic language:

Lorem ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit. Duis facilisis neque justo. Etiam ut urna vel tortor consequat convallis. Donec placerat ante quis est tempus vulputate. Aenean lobortis, turpis laoreet feugiat rhoncus, lacus tortor consectetur est, vel gravida enim urna eget justo. Duis tincidunt tellus at massa semper vel blandit magna ultricies. Ut iaculis placerat dolor sit amet condimentum. Praesent vitae hendrerit sem. Nullam ut metus ac velit luctus iaculis.

the first single “ekki múkk” sounds like the press release recited atop their ethereal hopegaze ambience. watch the video above.

one uninteresting band to cover another uninteresting band for record store day release

mastodon

it was just announced that the meandering metal bros, mastodonkey, will be making a second entry into the record store day cult by covering the overcooked flaming lips whos only flames they fan are their own. the 7″ will feature the flaming lips’ “a spoonful weighs a ton” on the a-side and the mastodon rendition on the b-side.

will this offering prove that two mehs make a yeah!?

computer glitch revives dormant blog, spams twitter with old posts #glitchhop

errora blog named brutal hipster was accidentally revived in an embarrassing manner after a computer glitch caused by social publishing platform dlvr.it blogging platform wordpress to auto-spamm twitter with 10 old posts dating back as far as june 23rd of 2011.

this unfortunate situation resulted in many angry twitter followers, with at least 10 having already unfollowed @brutalhipster.

those who werent quick to dismiss the anonymous blogger demanded a public apology for the social networking faux pas. approximately two hours after the incident, @brutalhipster tweeted…

not the sincerest of apologies but this suppresses fear that the mysterious cat has moved on to the next of his nine lives. will we hear from brutal hipster again??

johnny marr teams up w/ best coast to write a song that sounds like best coast

credit: erik voake (marr); david black (cosentino)

ex-smiths guitarist johnny marr has teamed up with a bunch of young relevant artists, including best coast, providing inspiration for new songs. the best coast song “in your sleep” sounds exactly like best coast. not sure why he was necessary since best coast can pump out great tunes without his help.

i suppose its a way for mister marr to keep up with the kids by involving himself in some totally distant way like fabricating some fantasy, location-based, instagram-filtered, cool story (bro) about something that didnt actually happen.

read about this totally predictable publicity stunt and check out the best coast track that recalls early best coast: http://www.spin.com/articles/hear-johnny-marrs-team-ups-best-coast-tom-vek-and-more